Research indicates that lesbian and gay kids want to be married with children by the time they’re in their 30’s. In what is believed to be the first study of its kind, social scientists have found that many lesbian and gay youth have expectations of spending their adult life in a long-term relationship raising children.

A recent study questioned about 133 New York City youths [kids in rural areas might have different responses] on various topics - including long-term relationships, family, and adoption. Researchers found that more than 90% of females and more than 80% of males expect to be partnered in a monogamous relationship after age 30. About 67% of males and 55% of females expressed the desire to raise children.

Of those who expressed some likelihood, 58% of males and 54% of females expect to be raising their own biological children. Forty-two percent of males and 32% of females expect to adopt. Sixteen percent of males and 14% of females expect to be foster parents. Thirty-six percent of females and 17% of males expect to help their partner raise her or his biological children.

“We seem to be witnessing the mainstreaming of lesbian/gay youth, with many of them wanting exactly what heterosexual youth have always wanted - the whole American dream complete with kids and the minivan,” Robert-Jay Green of the Rockway Institute said in a statement. “Most agree that the primary issue is whether these youth will be given the equal legal rights to realize their couple and family aspirations just like their heterosexual peers. If these young people realize their expectations, the LGBT community will be a vastly different place in 20 years, with many more families and children. The implications are staggering for how the lesbian/gay community will be different in the 21st century than in generations past, when it was mainly a secret society of singles.”

The study was conducted by Anthony R. D’Augelli, H. Jonathon Rendina and Katerina O. Sinclair of Pennsylvania State University and Arnold Grossman of New York University and published in the Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling (Vol. 1, No. 4, 2006/2007, pp. 77-98).

See original article…

This is an extract from Zefrog’s blog:

It was interresting, if rather sad, to hear Murphy O’Connor blubbering about gay adoption and the Sexual Orientation Regulations on the Today Programme on BBC Radio 4, this morning. It was just as sad to see how little Carolyn Quinn, the interviewer, challenged him on the half-baked arguments he produced.

First he did not reply to the question about his earlier accusation against the government supposedly attacking democracy. This was simply a headline grabbing outburst since all the procedures have been respected in Parliament for the approval of the Regulations. This had the support of all 3 major front bench.

Then we heard that old chestnut about the fact that giving rights to gay people and couples undermines marriage. This was not, as it never is, followed by an explanation of how this works. The only way to undermine marriage would be something that would change it’s structure or purport. Not what is happening, by any means. Anyway, straight couples do a very good job themselves at undermining marriage just by the mess they make of so many of them.

While the Cardinal delights in the public service provided by his adoption agencies, he forgot to acknowledge that this agencies recieve public money for this service. This means that they must absolutely abide by the rules set by their employers, the government! They may possibly have more of a case to do what they want if they were independant.

As Murphy-O’Connor acknowledged the law allows LGB couples to adopt. He claims that they are not proventing those couples to adopt by refusing to consider them for adoption. Can some explain to me this contradiction? Who does the Catholic Church thing it is to think it can go against the law of a country? In a democracry, no one should be above the law; not even religious organisations.

What is even stranger is that those catholic adoptions agencies are quite happy to let single LGB people adopt. Surely having a two people united in a loving couple to raise a child is better than just one person?

What this all boils down to (and I have developped those argument in previous posts) is the fear from the Catholic Church to loose what little influence they still have. They know that the LGB community is one of the last minorities which can, unfortunately, still be attack publicly with little chance of a major public backlash. The issue is also certain to capture people’s interest. Murphy-O’connor is simply trying to capitalise on this to gain access to the public sphere.

He admit himself in a previous outburst his fears of the government trying to impose a new moral order on the country. Read: a moral order on which he has no control himself and which undermines his and his church’s hitherto monopoly in the matter. Why should ethics and morals have to be underpined by religion to be legitimate?

The group has been running very successfully for the past year, and was developed as there was a need within the area of Manchester for such specific work to happen within the Manchester area for such specific work to happen within the LGBT community.

Results of consultation carried out in Central Manchester showed that many of the services aimed at the gay community were not family focused.

This group is the first successful group in the UK to be supported by Sure Start.

Many parents who started to access the service in the beginning did not attend any adult and toddler sessions, due to their concerns of being outed or victimised, often they felt that they did not fit the norm of your typical parent.
Through attending this group parents and carers can meet in a safe environment with like minded parents, their children are also able to meet with other children who come from similar family backgrounds. Many families have overcome their concerns and are now integrated in to mainstream adult and toddler groups.

Many lesbian and bisexual women have commented on their concerns before the group they were worried that their children did not have access to male role models. They feel that their children interacting with other dads-male carers who are gay or bisexual allows them to feel safe and confident in the relationships that are developed.

The group meets every 4th Saturday of the month, at Alexandra Park Play Centre, Alexandra Park (next to the lake), which is on Alexandra Road Moss side.

Please contact Matt on either 0161 636 7507, 07970298559 matt.roberts@manchester.nhs.uk. Look forward to hearing from you or seeing you soon. Matt Roberts, Community Development Worker for Manchester Community Health Service Providers.

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She went on to say that whilst the interview had been tricky that they had come to a decision, and the decision was that Panel thought we would make fantastic Adoptive Parents, and that we had been approved as Prospective Adopters!!!!!!!!

WE HAD MADE IT!!!!!!!

There were so many thoughts running through our head in the time we had left the interview and then the moment she said those words. I thought that we did not stand a snowballs chance in hell, but we had proved to ourselves that we could, and that we would!

Kelly and Sally both appeared delighted, and Kelly gave us huge hugs. There were tears, from both of us this time!!

The Panel Chair explained that their approval would be sanctioned/overruled by the Agency Decision Maker in a few days time, and from that we would receive written confirmation from them with the Decision Makers final decision and any points that would be written into our status, for example, the age of child we could adopt, etc etc.

So that was it, all of this time and we were finally Prospective Adopters.

We should have felt delighted and on cloud 9, but we didn’t. We felt empty, angry and most of all, hurt. How could anyone ask those questions of us, and think that we would never have the guts to stick up for our children? Well, looking back the answer is simple. They did not know us, and in reality we were viewed as information on a piece of paper. These guys were professionals, they knew there stuff, but I still think they were a little mean.

We should have gone home and celebrated! Instead, we went to HomeBase, and bought a new door we needed for the Lounge! When we got home we had a cup of tea. We were pleased, don’t get me wrong, but we were very deflated. We just could not bring ourselves to feel how we imagined we would feel.

We had previously decided not to ring the family and tell them instead, we would go and visit, so that afternoon we drove the 60 miles to Tris’s parents to break the news. They were delighted for us and of course wanted to know the next steps!

Well, as such there were no “next steps”. Once Approved it is suggested that you take at least 4 weeks to let it all sink in and get over the assessment process, before you start the matching process. As we had Christmas coming up, it fitted in just fine. Kelly told us that as we had now been approved she would be handing us over to Sally, and her Supervisor, as Sally was a Student Social Worker. She would organise a meeting for the 5 of us in the middle of January and do the handover then.

So we now had our decision, and of course Christmas round the corner. We would be on our own again this Christmas, but potentially, next year we could have a child with us! Wow - what a thought…….

I had sent a text to my dearest friend to give me a ring so I could tell her what had happened. She was 9 and a half months pregnant, and I knew that she had to go into hospital that day as a precaution, as she had had a lot of problems through her pregnancy. The baby had been on it’s way several times, including once when the four of us had been to a Robbie Williams concert (!!) and now, it did not want to go anywhere!!

We were at Tris’s Dads, and my phone rang, it was a recorded message saying that Neeve wanted me to call her on the following number in the hospital. I immediately rang, and she said she was fine, and wanted to know all about it. I spent the next 45 minutes telling her all about what had happened that day, and of course the outcome. She was delighted, as was Garry, her partner.

Neeve had told me before going into Hospital that she thought they would try and induce her, but they had done that with her other child, and nothing happened, so she was sure that it would be the same this time. I asked Neeve how she was going, and she said, yes, it was all going fine. Baby just having her bottle now!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?!??!!

Neeve had been admitted at 9am, been induced at 10am, and had gone through a relatively easy labour. At 6pm her waters broke and by 7pm she had had a big girl at 8lb 9oz! Wow!!! She was on the phone to me an hour later!

Once she had told me all about that a photo picture appeared on my phone, of my second god daughter, born on the same day we found out we were going to become parents, 18th December 2006……….. You don’t have much better days than that……………………..

A study of LGBT parents has found they are more likely to be involved in their children’s K-12 education than the general parent population. 

It found that the parents were more involved in school activities and were more likely to have consistent communication with school personnel. In addition, both LGBT parents and children of LGBT parents often report harassment because of their family structure.

The report, “Involved, Invisible, Ignored,” was prepared by GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, in partnership with the Family Equality Council and COLAGE.

It examined school experiences of LGBT-headed families using results from surveys of LGBT parents of children in K-12 schools and of secondary students who have LGBT parents.

Compared to data from the National Center for Education Statistics LGBT parents are more likely to attend a parent-teacher conference in the past year (94 percent to 77 percent) and more likely to volunteer (67 percent to 42 percent).

Current estimates indicate there are more than seven million LGBT parents with school-age children in the United States. 

“Family and education are two of the most important aspects of children’s lives,” said GLSEN Executive Director Kevin Jennings.

“This report casts doubt on schools’ inclusion of different kinds of families in our education system. LGBT parents are actively engaged in their children’s education yet are often not accepted by school communities. Further, their children are often harassed in school simply because of the makeup of their families. All families in a school community should be valued and respected as equals.”

More than half of LGBT parents described various forms of exclusion from their school communities: being excluded or prevented from fully participating in school activities and events, being excluded by school policies and procedures, and being ignored and feeling invisible.

In addition, LGBT parents reported mistreatment from other parents in the school community and even from their children’s peers at school. Twenty-six percent of LGBT parents in the survey reported mistreatment from other parents and 21 percent reported hearing negative comments about being LGBT from students.

Parents whose child’s school had a comprehensive safe school policy that protected students from bullying and harassment based on actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression/identity reported the lowest level of mistreatment and that there were no differences between the no-policy and generic-policy groups.

“This report shows when schools have anti-bullying policies that are inclusive of sexual orientation and gender identity, the rates of harassment are lowered dramatically,” said Jennifer Chrisler, executive director of the Family Equality Council. 

“These policies and comprehensive diversity curricula are tools that can curb mistreatment and bolster participation from all families. Knowing what works is a start, but schools have a long way to go and much left to do in putting them to the best and fullest use for our kids.”

The study found that nearly a quarter of students felt unsafe around other students at school due to others’ negative attitudes toward people with LGBT parents.

Forty-two percent said they had been verbally harassed at school in the past year because their parents were LGBT. Over a third reported that they had been verbally harassed because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation and nearly a third had experienced verbal harassment because of the way in which they expressed their gender.

Additionally, the report said that nearly a quarter of students said that a teacher, principal or other school staff person had discouraged them from talking about their family at school, and more than a third had felt that school personnel did not acknowledge their LGBT family. Furthermore, 28 percent said they heard teachers or other school staff make negative comments about LGBT families.

The report was released in advance of The National Day of Silence, when students observe a vow of silence to bring attention to bullying and harassment of LGBT students. It will be held on April 25 this year. 

The observance will be dedicated to the memory of 15 year old Lawrence King.

The openly gay eighth-grader was shot by a fellow student in front of classmates in February in Oxnard, California. He died after being declared brain dead and life support was removed. 

See original article…

The Government is finalising legislation on civil partnerships that will extend many of the same benefits and legal obligations of marriage to same-sex couples, writes Carl O’Brien , Social Affairs Correspondent.

However, it will not provide any right for same-sex couples to be considered as joint adoptive parents, despite a strong campaign by gay equality groups.

Under the heads of the new Civil Partnership Bill, which runs to more than 200 pages, same-sex partners will be able to to avail of marriage-like benefits in a range of areas such as property, social welfare, succession, maintenance, pensions and tax.

The dissolution of civil partnerships will also mirror marriage in that applications to dissolve such unions may only be made once both parties have been living apart for four out of the previous five years, just as with traditional divorce applications.

However, the legislation is unlikely to go far enough to meet demands of same-sex lobby groups who want full marriage and equality before the law for same-sex couples.

However, it is understood that last-minute negotiations are ongoing between Green Party and Government officials on whether some form of legal recognition can be provided for gay couples who already parent children, but who have no mechanism to establish a joint legal connection with their child.

Benefits in the area of tax - such as capital gains tax and gift tax - arising from civil partnerships will be provided for at a later date in the Finance Bill.

The Bill also introduces major changes for both same-sex and opposite-sex cohabiting couples who choose not to formalise their relationships, but who have been living together for at least three years, or two years if they have children.

This will involve a new “safety net” redress scheme for cohabitants who could apply to court for financial relief at the end of a relationship or death, but only if they can show they were economically dependent. The court will be able to make a number of orders in areas such as maintenance, division of pensions and property.

The changes will have major implications for tens of thousands of cohabiting couples, who now comprise 11.6 per cent of all families in Ireland according to 2006 census.

The new civil partnerships legislation comes at a time when there appears to be growing public support for gay couples to be allowed to marry. A national poll published yesterday, carried out by Lansdowne Market Research for the lobby group MarriagEquality, shows that 58 per of people agree that gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to marry in a registry office. Less than half that number, 26 per cent, agree they should be allowed to form civil partnerships but not marry.

Senior sources say the new partnership legislation will also include heavy responsibilities, as well as rights. For instance, former civil partners may potentially be liable for maintenance, and proceedings for termination of a civil partnership could involve property and pension adjustment orders.

Same-sex couples who avail of partnerships will also be subject to the law in areas covering domestic violence and barring orders.

The heads of the new Civil Partnership Bill are expected to be before the Cabinet next week. If approved, it is expected to be published shortly afterwards.

While there were plans to recognise various forms of “non-intimate” family units - such as elderly brothers sharing a house - Government officials say these plans are too complex and have been shelved.

See original article…

A new Cheshire-based social group for children and their gay parents starts this weekend.

Out2Play, based in a play centre in Warrington, is organised by a lesbian couple and their two children.

For details, email out2play@live.co.uk. The first meeting is Sunday from 10am.

See original article…

Homophobic abuse is endemic in schools, with “gay” now the most common put-down by pupils in the classroom, teachers say.

A “conspiracy of silence” in schools and colleges means homophobia is now seen as so normal that some teachers believe they risk disrupting classes - and making themselves a target of abuse - if they challenge students’ behaviour.

More than 70% of teachers have heard put-downs in their school or college that refer to sexuality, according to a survey of 268 teachers by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers. In particular, teachers report that pupils routinely use the term “gay” in a pejorative manner.

Nearly two-thirds of teachers and lecturers have heard homophobic language on a regular basis. A quarter encountered it several times a week and about 16% of them daily.

Boys are significantly more likely to talk about sexuality in a bullying way, but half of teachers have seen girls do the same and nearly 12% said they had seen similar behaviour in the staffroom.

The word “gay” was reported to be the most frequently used term to put someone down, followed by “bitch” and “slag”.

Half of teachers have also witnessed gossiping or the spreading of rumours about other pupils’ sexuality.

Teachers and pupils alike believe homophobic language is used in a joking manner. Some staff reported being afraid to tackle homophobia for fear of misjudging a situation, or being seen to promote homosexuality. Teachers also feel they will not be supported by parents if they tackle homophobic behaviour.

One teacher told researchers: “I think there is a lack of confidence in tackling these issues as teachers do not want to be seen to ‘promote’ homosexuality.”

However, another claimed that teachers should avoid the tendency to “blow up trivial matters out of all proportion”.

The ATL argues in a paper published to accompany the research: “Half of all teachers do not challenge homophobic language when they hear it. The reasons for this are varied, but combined they contribute to a wide-ranging conspiracy of silence. As a result, homophobia remains a pervasive and persistent problem within our society, including schools and colleges.”

The government produced the first guidance for schools on tackling homophobic bullying in January, written by the lesbian, gay and bisexual rights group Stonewall.

Johan Jenson, an education officer at Stonewall, said: “It’s evident that homophobic bullying is endemic - 65% of young gay people experience it and 98% hear homophobic language at schools. Many teachers lack confidence to tackle it and headteachers need to make it clear that homophobia should not be tolerated by giving teachers proper advice on how to deal with it.”

See the original article…

Typically, common sense tells us just the opposite of what many, in the name of religion and family values, would have us believe.

Most disturbing, and tragically ironic, is the fact that the homophobic passion to “protect children” from gay teachers, gay relatives and gay parents ends up in fact creating vast harm to untold numbers of youngsters.

For example, how are the millions (and counting) of children of same-sex parents protected when they hear politicians and religious leaders denounce their parents as deviants out to corrupt them? Or when the Vatican, seat of perhaps the most powerful church in the world, proclaims that their parents are “doing violence” to them? When they read that they are destined to become social and psychological misfits? When they lack adequate health care because they are not covered by the insurance policy of a parent’s life partner? When they face poverty because a parent is ineligible for the survivor benefits of his or her partner? When they might be denied lifesaving treatment because a hospital emergency room refuses to recognize the authority of a partner?

So you’ll excuse my skepticism of those who so loudly claim the mantle of family values in the name of God and the Bible.
See the full, original article…